Tags: Having Fun and Being Fulfilled In Life
Life on Earth is Finite. You can never get your time back.
What’s great about Jeanna Gabellini of MasterPeace Coaching, www.masterpeacecoaching.org, is that she teaches good people to realize the power in having fun at what you are pursuing! She awakens most of us who had fallen into the ‘grind’ of life that your truthful passions in life will propel you into a joy filled, prosperous, gratifying life legacy…. and you will most definitely be OFF that mental Merry-Go-Round…. totally free!
My show with Jeanna broadcast this past Saturday, the 14th of May on WSTC/WNLK.
“You don’t have to work long and hard to be financially prosperous and live a joy filled life.”– Jeanna Gabellini
Your inner voice is always spot on. Listen to it! Whatever the situation is, personal or business…. listen to the voice [it takes practice] and take action. You don’t have to understand why this voice is telling you something— it will become clear later on and it will protect you, guide you, and could very well save you.
Why the “Western” thinking has ignored this very important spiritual, in-tune practice in life that is a crucial part of the whole paradigm of well-being in life is tragic. Really, it is.
Jeanna reminded us to ‘start listening.’ This is more important than any expert, coach, etc.
I loved this show, and it’s in the “Archives” section of this blog for my listeners.
Tags: Be Aware and Take Action for your biggest investment, How to Hire and Fire a Contractor, How to protect yourself from bad contractors, Understanding Green Building
My interview on December 6th, 2010, with Home Builder Derek Tacon, owner of Weed and Duryea Home Services in New Canaan, CT, is one of several radio interviews that I have had this year with good people who are trying to bring enlightenment to every homeowner every where in America….
Buyer Beware! There are lots and lots of ‘bad guys’ in the home renovation/home building industry who are thieves, con men, sociopathic, and lurking on every corner.
Many appear to be “nice” in person, even personable and talk like they truly care about you, your home project, and your money…. Appearances are very deceiving in the home building industry.
“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.”– Spencer Johnson
Most ‘builders’ are not living their lives with integrity, and they will bring you into a co-dependent relationship with them if given the chance.
Consumers need to fight back. Our consumer laws are being ignored by every State and the bad people who call themselves home builders are more than willing to take your money, damage your home, get over their heads, and leave you with the mess.
My goal in having these shows on building/renovations and HOW to hire and fire a builder/contractor are hopefully opening the door to more awareness in our legal system, and finally, ACTION against this national disgrace.
Derek gave some great points on what to be very careful of when you are building, remodeling, looking for a contractor for anything [even for landscape work]:
1.) You, the consumer, need to be armed with information– THOROUGHLY RESEARCH prospective contractors way, way beyond what your neighbors/friends say and certainly way beyond looking at the BBB and even your State Department of Consumer Protection.
You need to search the internet, physically LOOK at the work that was JUST COMPLETED by this contractor, ignore the list of “References” given by any contractor– often, they are bogus.
2.) Meet with a minimum of three or four different contractors who are qualified to complete the job both on time and with expertise.
The key word is QUALIFIED here. Again, the very beginning is the time to put the onus on yourself to totally research each and every person who walks onto your property to give you a bid on any home project.
3.) NEVER pay up-front with a “Deposit” of any kind. Derek reminded us to think this through: If a contractor claims he needs to buy “materials” with your deposit, then he has NO CREDIT line with his creditors, and is NOT qualified to work with you. He will hit you up for more money up-front as time goes on, and you will ALWAYS be left with the mess and expense in the end. You don’t want to get entangled with a contractor who has too much of your money, and you are in a position without any leverage.
4.) What if it is a big job, say SIX or SEVEN figures in overall scope, and the Builder says he needs a 10% Deposit for “Mobilization” and “Materials.” You just say, “NO” to this scam. The “mobilization” should have taken place by this con-man a long time ago if he is at all legitimate. And again, the stupidity of demanding a client pay for materials up front in cash [checks are cash] is criminal behavior that is designed to entrap you.
5.) What if you are already uneasy about a contractor who is currently at your home? STOP THE PROJECT. PERIOD. You do not need to give an explanation, and get the Police to escort the bad guy[s] OFF your premises if anyone refuses to leave your property. Take this important juncture to have at least three or four contractors who are qualified look at the work under progress. Evaluate whether or not you have over-paid for negligent workmanship, or for work not done yet. This is not a time to be idle, or even to engage in “negotiating” with the person you just asked to leave the job. Be aware of the psychology that will be played with your brain at this time…. bad contractors are almost always previous criminals who know how to dodge the legal system and have no where else to make a living given their past criminal record.
6.) Bad Builders, contractors, and anyone else in the remodeling industry bring BAD sub-contractors and bring their personal chaos, irresponsible behavior, and desperation into your life. They bog you down. Look at the sub-contractors. What is THEIR past work like? How long have they been doing business with the Builder? You must insist on doing the SAME level of scrutiny on the sub-contractors as you do for any Builder.
7.) When they screw up, do they take responsibility? Do they make high end repairs timely and respectfully? A bad builder will argue with you. They will turn the tables on you and psychologically try to break you, confuse you, and BLAME you– the ultimate victim. Does the contractor try to weasel out of any repairs? If they have been paid up-front or too much, they will never come back to take responsibility. Again, responsible behavior is not something a bad builder bothers to think about. You are just an ATM machine to them. You will start to feel uneasy, but the intuition that most of us SHOULD be using will be ‘played with’ psychologically. Be aware, be careful, and take action that protects you. Stop everything.
8.) Attorneys are very good when they are qualified to help you. The time you need a qualified Construction Attorney is BEFORE you start any major project. You make the contract with your attorney, and do not accept a contract written exclusively by the ‘builder’ who has most likely made everything in his own favor. However, Attorneys are just another source of money-drain to you when they are NOT qualified [yet say they are] and have little to no experience with construction matters, and are called upon AFTER the construction has started and you are in the middle of a mess. You are very vulnerable at this time. Again, if you find yourself in a situation like this: Don’t panic, and don’t make blinded choices chasing after anyone who SAYS they will help you. Understand you are a flashing-sign of vulnerability, and take very methodical, careful, and well researched steps to finding the RIGHT Attorney for you. There are many Construction Attorney practices in many cities around the U.S.
9.) Have the courage to say NO. You have the right to say no to anything. Don’t be intimidated by anyone.
10.) Be careful of white collar professionals you hire, too. It’s not just the dishonest Attorneys who will drain you of money and time, it is also the dishonest/bad Engineers, Architects, Designers, etc. …….
DO NOT be bamboozled into believing that just because someone has a lot of Advertising/PR maneuvering in the media or with trade organizations, that they are any good. Often times, you will find yourself SHOCKED to see the evil intentions [getting your money for unqualified or no work on your behalf]. I personally have experienced this and it has to be the most horrifying betrayal of all when you are attempting to have a home build go smoothly.
And HOW do you “Build Green” when so many [way too many] contractors have NO experience with anything remotely “Green” and certainly no sensitivity to our environmental responsibilities?
1.) Educate yourself. One of the best places to start is with an organization that is a think-tank for everything related to Green Building: BuildingGreen, Inc., located in Brattleboro, VT. Check them out at www.buildinggreen.com And get their “Green Spec Guide.” They publish it every year, and it is THE REFERENCE BOOK for everything eco-friendly!
2.) Colorado native David Johnston has several great books… get one. He knows his stuff! He might even be available for consulting with your Architect, etc. David Johnston\'s \"What\'s Working.\"
3.) Before you start anything, read at least ONE of these amazingly informative and eye-opening books:
“The Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout, Ph.D.
“Without Conscience: The Disturbing World Of Psychopaths Among Us.” by Robert D. Hare, Ph.D.
“Games Criminals Play: How You Can Profit By Knowing Them.” by Bud Allen and Diana Bosta
“In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People.” by George K. Simon, Jr., Ph.D.
4.) Anyone, ANYONE– Builder, Architect, Engineer, person walking by, etc.– who says that “building with wood or “stick framing” is okay and remotely ‘Green’ is an idiot. Get away from such an ignorant person immediately. Sorry, our Forests [particularly the Doug Fir that is used for ‘stick’ framing] are disappearing at such a high rate that the deforestation is causing water tables to drop and to disappear altogether. When you deforest, you also cause droughts because the water will disappear, too. Let’s also look at the wretched behavior of the Forest/logging companies: Did you know that they are legally walking into our forests and shooting down any native animal that happens to be in the forest at the time and ‘in the way?’ It is totally despicable.
The above photo of stick framing is something everyone needs to avoid. It is NOT sustainable.
Instead, use ICF’s [Insulated Concrete Forms] and SIP’s [Structural Insulated Panels.] The other option is to use recycled and recyclable steel framing. There are so many choices that are eco-friendly, so never settle.
You have to have a healthy skepticism towards anyone who is recommended, or anyone that you find on your own to do any home building, renovations, etc.
Your time is valuable. You are valuable. Don’t let anyone into your home too eagerly and certainly take the time to have your own “Discovery” of who is qualified and ethical enough to walk into your life.
Tags: Finding true love in life, Love in Life, Marriage, Self-Love First
“The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make. Not just on your wedding day, but over and over again. And the choice reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.”
— Barbara De Angelis
My interview with Angela Paul on November 29th on finding love, and having a happy marriage [or just having happy relationships in life] was a discussion that more people need to have…. honestly.
What do you look for in a partner? How do you know you have true love? Where do you find the right one?
The first person you need to be honest with and to evaluate is yourself. What were your past relationships like and is there a pattern in choosing the same “type” of person without realizing your self-sabotaging pattern?
My radio interview with Angela encompassed some big, ethereal subjects within the Marriage theme, but what I walked away with from this conversation is the following:
1.) Make a list of your Values
2.) What is your outlook on life? Write it down.
3.) What qualities are most important to you?
4.) What qualities do you have and what do you bring to a relationship?
5.) Are you willing to welcome a person who is different from yourself? What specifically would you NOT want? What differences would be interesting and even fun to have in your life?
6.) Spiritual Foundations are the strongest. What do you believe?
7.) Romance Ebbs and Flows in all good, long-term relationships. What steps will you take in this forthcoming relationship to be totally authentic, grounded, honest?
8.) What did you learn from your past mistakes and even the bad experiences?
9.) Are you seeking your personal best for your life? How do you treat service people and the person who makes your coffee at Starbucks? How do you treat animals, the elderly…. do you care about others and their well being? This is a keystone question. If you are respectful to others around you in your daily life, chances you are you are ready to have a good relationship.
10.) What were the role models you witnessed as a child? What was right or wrong with what you may have learned by watching/being subjected to as you developed into an adult? Recognize what you need to do an ‘about face’ with in your life…. this is so key to finding happiness within yourself first.
Another important point that Angela made was to NEVER settle! Don’t settle for the disrespectful, ‘wandering-eye’ Wimp who makes you feel far less than anybody should ever feel!
Denying yourself laughter, fun, and compatible companionship in life is like denying yourself from great food, beautiful flowers, sunsets, great movies…. you get the picture.
DON’T SETTLE for anyone who hurts you, no matter how trivial it may be downplayed…. the insults add up and will drag you down [and not to mention waste your time– which you can never get back!]
There is OPPORTUNITY after every parting of the ways…. The same character in the Chinese language for “Danger” is “Opportunity.” Rather than being fearful of being alone, celebrate it and take advantage of this time in your life to get your priorities straight and to improve yourself…. There’s so much to look forward to when you see the opportunity in transition.
When you do find your soul mate, don’t lose yourself in the relationship! Keep your own identity, individuality, outlook, personal legend.
Angela reminds us that you need time apart when you are in a marriage. This is healthy!
A few years ago, I studied overseas for a few months while my husband was in New York working and taking care of our home. It was a very pivotal time of growth for me…. I then went traveling to Scotland by myself during this time and had something to be grateful for when I returned home.
I am glad to have had the opportunity to talk about this very big topic with Angela. I will certainly have her back in the future to continue our on-air discussion… There is so much that I was reminded of when it comes to living with honor and designing the life that only I can navigate.
Tags: Healthy Mind and Healthy Body, James Mapes, Know Your Destination And Live With Passion, Quantum Leap Thinking
My conversation with James Mapes, the inventor of “Quantum Leap Thinking” was only a small glimpse of what you can do with your mind to ‘quantum leap’ forward into the life you deserve.
Check out James Mapes’ website and see how you can begin to live life with intention, and being truly happy, fulfilled, and blessed: www.jamesmapes.com/Quantum Leap Thinking
www.jamesmapes.com/Quantum Leap Thinking
James Mapes’ websites are so inspiring and thought provoking, I could spend a lot of time on them, and I do!
A must-have for anyone who is looking to simply improve their life and make a positive impact on this planet while they are here is James’ book, “Quantum Leap Thinking: An Owner’s Guide to the Mind.”
There are negative forces around you everyday, but transcending the negativity and overpowering it with your God-given intuition [a MUSCLE, and you’ve got to use it!] along with your higher alchemy and a clear definition of your standards and values…. you will be better equipped to discern the intentions of others around you clearly and thus navigate your daily path to staying successful, achieving your purpose in this life, and living with passion.
“You control your imagination or your imagination controls you.” – James Mapes
Below I have some of James’ advice he gives, which we talked about on Conscious Lifestyles Radio this week:
1.) Make a personal commitment to yourself, because it all begins with you. Commit to treating yourself with kindness and compassion. Become your own cheerleader…. Do it for yourself, and good people will come your way.
2.) Define your own needs, limits, and boundaries. Your clarity will help you get your priorities in order to help make clear to others the kind of support they can give to you.
3.) Take an honest look at the people who are already close to you. Are you getting the encouragement and truthful, honorable friendship you are entitled to? Are they supportive and in-sync with your values, beliefs, spirituality, and healthy lifestyle?
4.) Ask for help when you really need it and be specific about what you want.
5.) Nurture your support system. e.g., GIVE BACK! Giving and volunteering… doing something to save the planet, help others is so powerful and connects you to a positive energy and positive, honorable people who share your passions to make the world a better place.
6.) Be a very good listener. Your listening without judgement and with an open heart is healing.
7.) Show gratitude. Always express gratitude to have a solid support system.
James Mapes on You Tube
I truly believe we could have peace on earth if each and every individual reassessed their own lives from where they are, seek a higher level of honor and consciousness for themselves, and then gave back to this world.
I believe we could achieve peace on earth if limiting dogmas, closed-mindedness, bigotry, abuse, manipulation, control, and prejudice were seen for the darkness that they are in this world and people made a concerted effort to overcome them via first loving themselves and living their best life with integrity…. it is all connected.
Tags: Hold Legislatures accountable for environmental conservation, restore safety in the woods, Save our Environment, Wildlife
“The Sun, the Moon, and the Stars would have disappeared long ago…. hand they happened to be within the reach of predatory human hands.”
-Havelock Ellis, “The Dance of Life,” 1923.
Today on the show, October 4th, we had to talk about something most people never see or even hear about… that’s because only 1% of Americans are killers who call themselves “hunters.”
Most Americans are totally appalled by hunting, so why do the killing groups have such loud voices in our state legislatures?
My two distinguished guests, Natalie Jarnstedt and Lynn Gorfinkle of Animal Rights Alliance and Project Save A Cat, were on hand to give us the unsettling details of the killing fields in our own back yards…. and what we, as the majority [and wealthiest] taxpayers, can do to stop this carnage, warfare, and terrorism in our own land of the ‘free.’
Being eco-friendly, “Green” means respecting and protecting and conserving our natural landscape, and all wildlife who depend on all of us to take action on their behalf.
These photos remind me of genocide, warfare, and even terrorism in our woods and last remaining wild spaces.
Ignorance begets ignorance.
It is time that the conservation majority make their voices heard. This is an election year, and conservation has got to be the new standard in our local, state, and federal government.
Stop the exploitation of our wildlife, our natural habitats, and our own quality of life.
It is amazing to me how the dim bulbs find their way into ‘leadership’ positions in our many governmental agencies who are obligated to preserve our natural habitats. Corrupt officials do nothing to uphold anything remotely reminiscent of ecological and environmental protection.
Is anyone out there tired of these alphabet governmental agencies simply existing to create jobs for themselves while they pander to special interests that seek to exploit, kill, and destroy our wildlife? Why do they bother to even exist if they cannot police the groups, individuals, and companies that want to destroy the environment for their own ignorant benefit?
The killing, and the environmental destruction has got to stop. This topic in our town hall discussions has got to be brought to the attention of our elected officials…. they usually cower when it comes to such “controversial” topics…. but is this really controversial?What about intelligent, thoughtful, mindful, ecological conversations on what is happening to our last remaining wild lands?
How many innocent family pets and people have to be shot and killed by killers in the woods, fields, and prairie lands that we should all be fighting like heck to make safe for all to enjoy?
It is clear that it is about money, and perpetuating a system that panders to killing rather than to conservation.
The time is now to save our environment. Saving our wildlife is included in this package of environmental, “Green” lifestyles.
Tags: Conscious Lifestyles Radio, Ethics in Business, God's Guidance, Grief and Coming Through To The Light, How to Find and Keep Your Life's Passion, Live Your Best Life, Ruth Klein, Time Management Secrets for Working Women
On August 9th, 2010, I had the incredible pleasure of interviewing Ruth Klein, one of the world’s best experts on how to live 100% to your full potential with joy, grace, mindfulness, and truth.
Ruth is known as the “De-Stress Diva” and a Branding/Marketing Guru. Her website is a must-read for anyone who wants to improve themselves, their business acumen, and overall effectiveness in this lifetime.
Check out Ruth’s web site and listen to her radio show, see some videos, and get the edge on your life and business: www.ruthklein.com
I got so many compliments from this terrific interview and I learned so much from our 30 minute conversation that I even signed up for Ruth’s newsletters!
I also wanted to ask Ruth on how to live your life, and continue on the path of success and fulfillment [and health, longevity, etc.] when you are faced with GRIEF or anything stressful and challenging.
Her answer was inspiring to me. I have been facing the path of grief for the past two weeks after our beloved Cat, Mina, was killed during a dental procedure at a Veterinary office we thought we could trust. The regret and replaying the ‘what if’s’ over and over in my mind have been heart wrenching.
I loved Ruth’s advice to allow the journey of grief to unfold without fighting it. She shared that in the Jewish tradition, they allow themselves to grieve for a full week and then after this week they celebrate the life of their loved one, and all of the blessings this loved one brought into their lives and into the world.
There is a light awaiting me [and everyone] after the period of allowing yourself to grieve is complete. The sadness does not leave, but the renewed understanding of the fragility and preciousness of every moment of this life actually brings perspective and celebration of this journey we have been granted by God to receive in this world.
“It only takes the smallest amount of light to make and opening in the darkness.” — Karen VanKleef